Conductor as Sadistic Dentist

Just came across a great post by Michael Hovnanian who plays bass for a very famous, very large, midwestern city orchestra and writes a great blog about his life as a professional bassist in the Bass Blog.

In his post, he compares the work a conductor does to the dentist: scraping away the tartar, fixing the rhythmic overbite, or when the true nature of the person comes out:

Obviously, the lure of sadism sometimes proves too much, and what begins as constructive turns cruel and capricious. Cleaning the gums turns into a relentless pricking and poking, looking for blood, then gleefully pointing it out, holding a mirror up before the hapless, chair-bound orchestra. “You see! We have a problem here, such a pity. Let me get another pick. Nurse! No, the longer, more cruelly formed one please…”

The balance between finding, fixing, improving the qualities of any orchestra and the methods in which that is achieved is always precarious.  And the complications that must arise when you are working with an orchestra the caliber of Mr. Hovnanian performs in must increase exponentially.

This seems to related to the fact that orchestra musicians job satisfaction has been rated below that of federal prison guards.  But like the dentist, the conductor is hired to clean out that plaque and fix those dentures.  Right?  The tension inherent in the relationship is historical, predictable, and unending.

What seems to matter most is that the relationship positively adds to the art.  When that happens, the tension is seems to be accepted and dealt with on all sides.

The ability of a conductor to tell such talented and experienced musicians how to improve, change their musical choices, speed up/slow down, etc. is necessary.  And the psychological underpinnings required for those people who work with the top tier performers, that mix of musical brilliance, empathy, sensitivity, ego, and what some believe borders on sadism, is totally fascinating to me.

What do you think?